Saturday, June 23, 2012

My current self

first sunshineflower of the year

Dear Reader,
How shall I begin to share my story with you?  Let's start with a basic introduction - after all we don't yet know each other.  Here's the demographics.  I am Margot, a white American woman in my mid thirties.  I live in Ohio, at the edge of a trailer park on the outskirts of a small rural town.  I live with my fiance Eric and our two year old son Jeff.  On the uphill climb from various past disasters, we are both full time students working to escape the poverty trap at the bottom of the US socioeconomic scale.
As a snapshot, it doesn't sound like such a remarkable life, but when you learn where I've been it becomes amazing that I reached this place.  A year ago, I was flipping burgers.  Five years ago, I was living in a tent at a state park campground.  Seventeen years back, I was a National Merit Scholar who graduated high school early and went to a major university with a five-year full ride.  33 years ago, I was living in England where my parents spent a few years seeking religious truth.
It's hard to connect with people when your life has been so strange.  The simplest conversation can become complicated so quickly.  One innocent question can stab right to the heart of a painful issue you just don't care to discuss with your coworker or neighbor.  For me the worst of these questions is also one of the most common: "Is he your only child?"  I always lie, and say yes.
The thing I've discovered is that keeping things inside is not good for your soul.  At least, not good for MY soul.  That's where you come in, dear Reader.  I hope my story will inspire you not to give up in your own personal struggles.  Human beings can walk back out of the deepest pits of despair and find real happiness.

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